THIS IS MY LIFE
Saturday, 9/28/2002
Copyright (c) 2002, Michael (Dickerson) Deluno. All Rights Reserved. Reproduction or quotation is strictly prohibited without permission.

Hi, wonderful person ~

Saturday evening, September 21 was the Quilters and Smiths concert at Unity Santa Fe that we�ve been working on for several months. It was a good show, and the show isn�t what I really want to talk about. I want to talk about what impacted me about that evening.

Prior to the show, one of the performers said to me that I would see something that I�ve never seen anywhere else before. It turned out to be an interweaving of songs, poetry, and dance. Not taking anything away from them, because, as I said, it was a good show, I had seen something like that before. In fact, I�d seen something even more complexly interwoven before. What they were doing was similar to what we of God Only Knows What were doing several years ago. I ended up feeling good about my creative ideas � something that is, in truth, unlike anything anyone else is doing.

If you�ve been reading my letters since Easter, you may remember my writing then about meeting Mariana, an Argentinean therapist, dancer, and choreographer. At the time I wrote about being incredibly attracted to her. I had a discussion with some of you about whether to pursue her as a possible romantic relationship or not. Well, I�ve seen her several times recently, the first times since Easter. How she fits into the theme of this letter is that she was the dancer in the show.

Is someone asking me what happened? I thought so. Much to my surprise, I wasn�t particularly attracted to her this time. I'm not saying that I was unattracted, just that it wasn�t much more than I am to a large percentage of women I see on the streets. Why not? I'll address that in a message I'll write soon about the people in my life.

During the show, I witnessed something that seemed to me exceedingly ironic. In the audience, about 30 feet away from me, a drama was unfolding. A couple (I'm not making too much of an assumption here) was sitting there engaged in a non-verbal interaction that I couldn�t have scripted more perfectly to dramatize the approacher-distancer dynamic that occurs so frequently in relationships.

He was sitting as if in meditation, focused on the show. He never turned his head to look at her. She, on the other hand, was doing everything she could think of to get affection from him. She leaned up against him, took his hand, put her arm around him, grabbed his arm and put it around her, leaned forward and over so that her face was in front of his, put both of her arms around him . . . Then she apparently got frustrated and moved to another seat, several rows behind him. He didn�t even seem to notice. After some time, she went back and started the affectionate behavior again. Still he didn�t respond. So she moved away again. He didn�t seem to notice. And on it went throughout the entire show.

What was fascinating to me about it was that there I was, sitting 30 feet away, being a man who would have responded to her in kind. I would have loved her affection. I was even attracted to her. But me? I was sitting there alone, no one to be affectionate with.

Isn�t life fascinating?

More soon.

Namaste,
Michael

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ABOUT THIS IS MY LIFE
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This Is My Life is my letters to my family, friends, and whoever else may be interested about whatever is meaningful to me in my life. I don't guarantee anything about content or frequency. The letters will be whatever they turn out to be. If you want the best option available for keeping up with what�s happening with me, though, this is it.

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