Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

Wishing you the most magnificent year of your life!

Today (i.e., every today) is our opportunity to begin again and

to make the coming year whatever we’d like it to be.

Let’s join together and make it a year of peace, love, joy, health, spiritual awakening,

and an abundance of everything that is for our highest benefit.

In the spirit of renewal,

Michael

And now for some boxing

So, how’s Boxing Day going for y’all? Are the gyms crowded?

Does anyone need some boxes? I have more than enough.

Don’t celebrate too frenetically, folks.

Boxing my way out of the funk,
Michael

The Christmas that was

I was concerned about Christmas this year. If you’ve been reading, you know my story. In September I broke up with a woman (Antoinette) who I love but can’t get along with. I hate being alone (without a romantic partner) for Christmas. I have a chronic neurological condition (Trigeminal Neuralgia) in my face that causes me to have nearly constant pain, sometimes severe pain. And, at least partly because of the medication I'm taking, I’ve been moderately depressed the past few weeks (at least). And I'm very low on money and having difficulty getting my motivation up to get out there and look for more work.

So, here came Christmas….

Can you get the feeling for how exciting that WASN’T for me?

Christmas, as I define it, begins about 5 pm on Christmas Eve and ends when we go to bed on Christmas Day.

I had fully intended to go to the Unity Santa Fe Christmas Eve service. Yeah. Fully. But, when the time came, I couldn’t raise the motivation to get myself up, get ready, and go. I thought about it. Then I thought about it some more. And finally, I just went back to working on my computer. Oh, well. I’d go to the Christmas morning service Sunday. No big deal.

Eventually I turned on “It’s a Wonderful Life.” I never miss it on Christmas. I can practically recite the entire script from memory. I tell people that Mary Hatch Bailey (played by Donna Reed) is one of my models for the woman I’d like to be with (once we remove the sexist 1940s aspect of her). Anyway, I watched and worked on my computer and … spent nearly the whole evening wondering what Antoinette was doing and missing being with her. Can you imagine a much merrier Christmas Eve?

I eventually went to bed, hoping at least to have a good night of sleep since I haven’t had one in many weeks. No, no such luck. Between the pain and whatever else it is that wakes me up at 4 or so in the morning nearly every morning, I got maybe 5 hours of sleep. For me that’s about 2 or 3 too few.

So, I finally got up, and making the story a little shorter, I did go to church. That was actually the highlight of my Christmas. I love the Unity Christmas service. It’s pretty much the same every year. Lots of music (the choir and a soloist) and a metaphysical interpretation of the Christmas story. I noticed my depression lifting a little while I was in the service. And I got a prayer from one of the Prayer Chaplains after the service; that helped, too.

On the other hand, I did miss being able to sing (because of my TN). Last year I was in the choir for Christmas. I still knew the words and the arrangements.

Then I got the few small gifts that I had gotten for Antoinette ready … Yes, I got her a few gifts. I only spent about $30. It seemed like what I would do for a friend who is an ex. I told her how grateful I am to her in the card. Then I took them over and left them inside her screen door. I knew she’d be at work; she had told me that last time I saw her.

The rest of the day I watched TV and worked on my computer. After time for A. to get off work, I kept wondering if she’d call me. She didn’t. Along about 7:30 I finally suffered through eating the dinner I had bought at Whole Foods. (It hurts me quite a bit to eat.)

That’s it. My fabulous Christmas, 2005. It wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t good. I wasn’t horribly depressed. I was depressed. I missed A. I hated being alone. The Christmas that was.

May Christmas, 2006 be wonderful, and may I be thoroughly in love with someone who can share the wonder with me.

Namaste,
Michael

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MSNBC poll: Impeach Bush?

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