Bigfoot lives!

If you’re hoping for a story about a big ape-man called Sasquatch who lives in the forests in the mountains of the Pacific Northwest (and I know that some of my PNW friends are hoping for that), then you’re going to be sorely disappointed. This is not about Sasquatch. This is about another Bigfoot.

Me. I’ve become a Bigfoot.

“What?” you ask. “What are you talking about?”

Well, be patient, and I'm going to tell you.

I have good news. The meds I'm on seem to be working to reduce my pain. I still have pain, sometimes significant pain, and some activities are still a huge challenge (things like lowering my head and eating, for example), but I don’t hurt as badly now as I did before. Those cheers that are bubbling up in you are appropriate and welcome.

I also have bad news. Here comes the Bigfoot thing. The side effects of the Neurontin are growing.

I'll get to the depression in a moment. But I want to relieve the suspense and get to Bigfoot first.

One of the side effects of Neurontin is peripheral edema, that is, swelling of the feet. I didn’t think much about it until a few days ago. Then it really hit me that my feet were huge. (I’d become a Bigfoot, get it?) The skin feels stretched really tight (to the point of hurting a little), and they’re red. They look a lot like hot dogs that are being roasted and have “plumped up.” My shoes hardly go on my feet now. I have to sit with my feet up every once in a while and to sleep with my feet up to let them drain some. I haven’t seen anything like this before. It’s very uncomfortable, too. Consequently, walking is a bit difficult. Bigfoot has trouble walking. Who’d have guessed?

But, it’s the depression that’s my biggest problem now, considering what’s limiting my life. I'm becoming really tired of being depressed. I have to find a way to get off Neurontin. And, in the meantime, I need to force myself to do some of the things I know to do and some of the things some of you are recommending. I know what to do. I just can’t seem to motivate myself to do it.

OK, here are some commitments for today:
1. I will take at least a 30’ walk.
2. I will call the medical clinic about next steps.
3. I will call the temp agencies I signed up with last week and get reactivated with them.
4. I will call Capital High School about the long-term sub job we discussed back in December.
5. I will check the job ads in the SF New Mexican from Sunday.
6. I will attend the codependence meeting this evening.
7. I will do something about getting my own work going.
All of those are things I’ve been procrastinating about.

Today is Susan Grace’s birthday. I encourage you to send her birthday wishes, even if only in consciousness.

And so, for now, Bigfoot is taking leave.

Love and light to you all,
Michael

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