Antoinette

I saw Antoinette today for the first time (at least close enough to talk with) since … when was it? I think it was early November. I saw her from a distance a couple of times, but that isn’t what I'm talking about. I had something I needed to deliver to her, so I called and asked how she wanted me to do that. She suggested that I come by the Eldorado Hotel (where she works, in case you don’t recall – or haven’t ever read) this afternoon.

I was surprised that she seemed to want to talk, even though she was at work. So, I stayed for probably half an hour (punctuated occasionally with her stopping to talk with hotel guests).

It was surprisingly emotional for me. I realized that I really miss hearing about what’s going on in her life and all her stories about people and events. I found out that an old (both long-term and aged) friend of hers – who I had never met, but almost felt like I knew – had died in mid-December. I felt pretty sad about that for a while.

And, in the end, what I was left with was admitting to myself that I still really love her and wish it could have worked out with us. I miss her a lot.

It’s all so confusing to me. It doesn’t seem right that I could love someone and be incompatible with her – that I can love Antoinette and be incompatible with her. But, of course, that’s been true so many times before in my love life. Why? (That’s a rhetorical question; I'm not asking you to answer.) I'm sure that somehow it’s a spiritual gift. I wonder if I'll ever understand.

And more than that, I wonder if I'll ever love someone and also be compatible with her. I love easily. That isn’t the difficult part for me. But will I ever be compatible with someone? Or am I just too unconventional?

Namaste,
Michael

Alisa Camplin

Notice to my Aussie friends (and to the rest of you, too): I love Alisa Camplin.

I was enormously inspired and touched by her performance and personality 4 years ago at the 2002 Winter Olympics. And then last night I was thrilled to see her again already, carrying the Aussie flag in the parade of athletes during the opening ceremonies. She was smiling and waving the flag, reminding me of 2002 and looking absolutely adorable.

Here’s something I said in my blog/journal 4 years ago, somewhat paraphrasing the Olympic website story about her and commenting about how she inspired me:

“Aussie Alisa Camplin had never won any significant international event, and without snow in sunny Australia, she trains for the women's freestyle skiing aerials in a leech-infested lake. But Camplin nailed both of her triple twisting, double back flips, and the Olympic Winter Games had one of its most surprising gold medallists ever.”

She, like so many people who inspire me, would not be stopped. She flew in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds and came out a winner.

It wasn’t so much that she won the gold medal, but that certainly added something to the story. It still would have been a remarkably inspiring story for me if she had come in 5th place – or 15th. But she did win gold. Despite everything, she beat the other women who had all the advantages, who had everything going for them.

I thoroughly love overcoming stories.

So, I'm eager to see what Alisa does this year. I don’t care if she wins a medal or not. All I care is that she shows up, competes, and radiates that incredible smile. That’s enough for her to be a winner in my book.

But it would be a special treat if she won a medal, too.

Namaste,
Michael

How I'm doing

Here’s a quick update on how things are going.

First, thank you to everyone who has helped in any way – with money, prayers, or communicating your concern.

I'm in remission from my TN. That means I haven’t had any pain during the past week. Consequently, I’ve been working (a temp job that isn’t anything to speak of except that I made more than I would have substitute teaching– so I won’t say more than this). That will help some, but not nearly enough.

However, I began to have symptoms of something about Thursday – a cold or some kind of flu. Today (Sunday) afternoon has been the worst of it. I'm scheduled to work again tomorrow (same nothing to speak of temp job), so I will not get any worse.

Some money has come in. The good news is that I’ve been able to pay one month of my rent, my phone bill, and my internet payment, and I’ve gotten a little gas and food.

On the other hand, I still have half a month’s rent overdue, a car payment that must be paid soon, $300 in loan payments that must be paid in the next couple of weeks, and a medical test that I have to have within the next couple of weeks. I haven’t been able to buy my medications, but since I'm in remission, it doesn’t feel as urgent as it would otherwise. And, of course, food and gas are an ongoing issue.

I still have some things to sell, but circumstances have interfered with doing that. Hopefully I'll be able to connect with people who have shown interest in those things soon.

That’s enough for now. Anyone who feels called to help knows what to do. As always, I appreciate prayers if nothing else.

Love and light to you all,
Michael